madwithinsanity

My roommate has horrendous taste in music.

Lip Gloss by Lil Mama and Chicken Noodle Soup by DJ Webstar are just two of the lovely jems I've heard more times than I can count.

Who's seeing Ninja Assassin? Tawny is.

For the longest time I've talked about how I hate random hookups and I'm just over it and want to go on actualy dates and be mature, see a few people, shop around as it were.

I'm going on a date in about... oh ten minutes or so. And I don't even want to call it a date. It makes me cringe to even think about it. My fucking roommate keeps awwwwing and talking about how cute it is and wants to hear "all the cute details" and I just want to punch her in the kidney.

I don't want to date this guy. I don't want to get to know someone. I'm leaving this fucking abomination of a school in three months and never ever want to have any sort of ties to it aside from what I put on my resume.

I want to eat quickly, come home, go to bed, forget about it. Then go back to TN in a few days, make out furiously with a couple select individuals and forget my painful embarrassment.

God I hate trying to pretend I'm normal. I mock the couples that hold hands in restaurants, the ones that cuddle and coo. I like non-awkward, non-cheesy things. I like when I can pick on someone and they pick back without retorting with "you're so adorable when you try to be angry" AAAAAARGH.

This is obnoxious. I'd rather grab a sandwich and sit in my living room.

Just like I'm doing now, without the sandwich.

Pardon the heinous mirror shot in my kitchen. My camera is completely AWOL so until I track is down this is as good as it gets.

So I guess something finally got accross to the school administration and we might get a Q&A session with the faculty. Doubt it but here's hoping. My dad is doing better now. The cardiologist told him he had 99% blockage in one of his arteries and was living on borrowed time. He got a stint put in and feels way better because his heart isn't being STRANGLED. Jesus dad you're 67. Take care of yourself.

Also, I'm pretty sure I'm defective. I'm just not attracted to anyone sexually anymore, yet incredibly frustrated sexually as the last person I did anything with was Brent and we just made out for about a minute. That was in March.

Way to go Tawny.

My dad was in the hospital for food poisoning and now he's going back on friday for an angiogram and possibly another stint. So much stupid bullshit is happening with my school right now I don't even know where to begin and no one AT the school will listen to the students. I feel like I'm in a community college that costs seven times as much and i'm learning seven times less.

I'm so fucking exauhsted I can't even think straight anymore and I have absolutely no way to get out my agression other than WALKING or SLEEPING. I need to either start martial arts again or have hot angry hate sex with someone. Or all of the above.

I've cried three days in a row more out of frustration that anything else. I hate crying and don't feel it's even remotely neccessary in this situation but I have no other outlets except spending tons of money on frilly dresses and tailcoats.

Speaking of which, I'm buying this:


fuck you.

So I hung out with Neal (the guy whose picture I post a few entries back) and we went trick or treating with my roommate and her friend and he is the biggest awkward turtle ever.

Not attractive. SO SO SO SO SHY. And anyone who knows me knows that I'm extremely extroverted so that's just... um. No.

Anyway I've been hanging out with this guy Steve here, he's fuckin' awesome and according to Kari diggin' on me which is even better. He's 25, way chill, beats me up, etc etc. lol.

Whatever. I'll see where things go.

If I was coming into this school as a Mod 1 this year instead of a Mod 3 I would drop out. I can't believe what has happened to this place. I feel like I'm at a community college taking Home Ec and possibly learning less than they would have to teach me there. Chef Mark told us we're technically spending about $450 a day here and I'm sure as shit not getting my money's worth.

I'm getting all crafty.
Oh good, more things to spend money on.

I bought a pair of black HeartE prince pants,

This Angelic Pretty skirt:


This JSK:


White Meta bloomers, a bodyline petticoat, and white montreal boots.

Oops.

http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=10970 !!!!!!

So NECI has definately taken a turn for the worst. I have enough time to work, go to class, stay up til all hours and still manage to get nine hours of sleep, read entire books in a day, and do community service.

On the plus side having a job is helping fund my wardrobe. I swear I'm just going to dump out 80% of my closet. I really only wear the clothes I brought with me to Vermont, so when I get home for thanksgiving, it's getting ripped apart.

I have this strange and unorthodox crush on this mod 4. I've "known" him since I started school last year and there's always been this curious, unspoken sexual tension. We always meet eachother's gaze and constantly. It was like that last year and now that I'm back in the 118 kitchen it's happening all over again. I thought maybe he was just looking at me because it was more like "Oh there's that creeper who keeps looking at me." but the other night I was scrubbing down one of the work benches and he walked out of the walk in in the corridor and started to walk back to the main kitchen but stopped and looked over his shoulder directly at me.

We spoke once. And it was saturday. About cake that I was forcing culinary students to eat because I needed to get rid of it. He said I make good cake. Lol. I suck.

Axis Powers: Hetalia is really really weird.

Someone should get me this for my birthday http://www.akinaiblog.com/product/1854

Or a squishable.

Whatevs.

I just-
I don't even know what to say.

So I'm here in San Francisco, land of badassery.

No lie I have no idea why I live in Tennessee. The weather here is FANTASTIC. Sunny, breezy, 75. Good god it's heaven.

So my dad and I went to Japantown today and I could have spent far more time and money than I did but my day is 66 and can't really walk all day let alone stand in a store full of frilly pink Japanese things for more than an hour. We went into the newly opened Baby, The Stars Shine Bright as well as Black Peace Now and I was in complete sensory overload. It's one thing to look at these clothes online but to be in the actual store is heaven. I have to say though BPN does NOT know how americans are shaped. The only sizes they had were smalls. Now I'm not a BIG girl, but there is no way I am fitting into a skirt with a twenty four inch waist. Not a bloody chance. So we miandered over to BTSSB and I tried on a dress and my dad LIKED IT. He thought it was very pretty, didn't make fun of it, didn't tell me I'd never wear it. No, instead he told me to get a parasol and socks. So I did.



Plz to be ignored lame-face.

We went and got lunch at a japanese restaurant, I had cold soba with vegetable and shrimp tempura and dad got katsu curry. Then we went to the mall and I went insane at Kinokuniya book store just like I did in Portland. I will be going back tomorrow or Tuesday for sure. But I think tomorrow I'll just hit up H&M.

When we got home we bought THE BEST SUSHI I HAVE EVER HAD and sat and watched True Blood like big ol' fatties.

The End.

I leave for California on Saturday and to be frank that day cannot come soon enough. I've decided 98% of Cookeville's population just makes me frustrated and angry. If I have to pump gas one more time while looking at bubbas waddling into the store in their filthy Van Halen shirts that may or may not have fit in 1978, I may scream.

I'm nearly positive I will not be returning to Tennessee for any extended period of time. It is a black hole, and I rally hope that my friends get the hell out as well and don't become townies. As much as Brent rambles about leaving, I don't really think he means it.

I'll be back from California on the 19th and I leave for school the 21st (though I'm thinking about pushing it back a day). I'm ready to get out of here. I wish I'dleft for California sooner but I wouldn't have had time to go to Murfreesboro with Sam. And I really hate that place but it was good to see Sam. Also I'm seeing Ponyo tonight so that kind of makes up for things.

Basically the point of this entry is to go: Arrrrrghuuuuuughuuguhuuuughu *bitchbitchbitch*

This may be old news to anyone who follows Japanese brands but Black Peace Now and KERA have worked with the creators of Kuroshitsuji to create clothes inspired by the anime.

http://maruione.jp/en/black-peace-now-kuroshitsuji-asymmetric-jacket-black-p-5850.html?cPath=59_51 I would willingly spend 250 dollars on this coat.

Does Code Geass ever get good?

So monday after work I went to a party. For those of you who don't know I deleted Brent's number and took him off of my facebook because frankly I don't care anymore what or who he is doing. Anyway Brent (and Lindsey, his ex) were at this party and Brent avoided me the entire time I was there. If I walked into a room, he'd walk out, if he had to walk THROUGH a room he'd practically glue himself to te outside wall like I had the plague. I called him out on it and said "You don't have to avoid me you know" an he shook his head and laughed nervously stating he wasn't avoiding me, he was drunk. Then promptly left my presence.

Well. I left at 1:30 AMish and was told the next morning by Mariel (host of the party) that Brent had made a monumental asshole of himself after I left. He and Lindsey got into a screaming match and woke up the neighbours at five in the morning, who in turn called the police (who thankfully didn't come in, they just drove by). He then tried to punch Caleb Jones and missed, stumbling drunk and falling into the cat litter box and playing it off like it was a joke.

He's fallen so unbelievably far that I can't even imagine what I saw in him in the first place. He's sad and pathetic, and I wish I could feel sorry for him, but that would be stretching my sympathy beyond it's conceivable means.